I was at my friend Matt’s apartment when I saw the necklace he had just inherited from his grandmother. He said he planned to sell it right away for some needed cash. Read more

Back when I was a guy my roommates were always irritated when I would ask them to clean up around the apartment, not leave their clothes on the floor of the bathroom, and generally work toward a pleasant place to live. Read more

You can’t play quarterback without confidence. So I didn’t have any problem accepting the challenge of Zach the quarterback of the Wildcats. Read more

Honey, I know it was awful for you to walk in on me having a good time with your best friend, and I know I said that I would do anything I could to make it up to you, but is it fair to change me into a brunette and send me off for the weekend with not one but two of your ex-boyfriends? Honey, I think they are going to fuck me extra hard as a favor to you. Honey, before you put me on the boat with no swimsuit could you talk to them about this? Honey?

Before I married Louisa she was an office assistant downtown. I assumed she had an exciting social life which was no problem because she would never stray now that we were married. Read more

I told my wife Harriet that I thought women had gotten a good deal, that they could pretty much decide when they wanted to have sex, that they could get multiple orgasms, and that they are easily “re-heatable” Read more

It was just strange. There I was in my apartment watching tv on a Friday night, no place to go really but I felt just fine about it. Read more