“Oh honey, isn’t this what you wanted?” My wife capped her lips over my enlarged areola, teething my nipple and lettin go as she and I watched my newly swollen chest jiggle onto itself , “I thought you said you were transgender, wanted to become a woman, and we could become lesbians afterwards?”
The chilly dawn air streamed into the back of the VW van, and I reflectively burrowed my bare chest in the comforter. I didn’t mind though. In front of me lay perhaps one of the most entrancing views of creation, Bridal Veil Falls in Yosemite Valley. ‘To think I could be in some war zone not knowing if today would be my last,’ I reflected, ‘Yet here I am road tripping across the country; discovering me, discovering the love of my life.’
“Mmmmm,” We both passionately moaned. I tasted my wife, my love, my soulmate on my lips as her soft thighs gripped me. I remember when I relied on my torso and arm strength alone as I would make love to her standing up. No more, my days of hunk status muscle strength are long gone. Instead I am left to prop her frame over my protruding hips, not that I have the same equipment to make love with as we once did.
I pulled my hair back into a ponytail as I stared at my former body entertaining the other party guests. Geez, was he working out that much? Never in my wildest dreams did I think Sofia could thrive in my body like she had, but that she did.
‘I wonder if Don will like my new nightgown? Well at least it sure is comfy,’ I mused. I peeked downward at the cute embroidery pattern of my chamise, ‘Whoa did my boobs get bigger?’
She gets college credit, I get a bump into upper management. My firm required “Diversity Certification” to make Partner; a new credential that says one lived as an ‘underrepresented’ group for 12 months. Being your average white male, the only way for me to get that little piece of paper would be to switch lives with someone else. Initially quite hesitant, my wife soon threw away her reluctance after she saw the salary of Partner at my firm.
They say that Gender Flus can “rip relationship’s apart and build new ones,” my case of the gender flu did neither. My girlfriend Shelby and I still go out to movies together, visit each other’s families for holidays, and we even live together; though most of our neighbors think I am a girl friend that moved in after Shelby’s boyfriend “moved out”.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I regret every second swallowing one of my brother’s (he takes them to keep his testicular cancer at bay) Gender Change pills as a joke. One month as a young woman, and currently the butt of every joke my my drunk Uncles pull at my cousin’s wedding: “I never knew you swang that way”; “He must have got this from your side of the family”; “How is our little Princess doing today”. Worse, one of my cousin’s friends got sick at the last moment. Being her closest family member not participating in the wedding, my cousin and the rest of my family pressured me into being a Bridesmaid! First time for everything they say: first time attending a bridal shower, first time wearing a dress and first time having a period, score. Could my day get any worse? Yes, that night. Perhaps my self loathing reached a pinnacle when the tossed wedding bouquet fell into my arms as I didn’t pay attention. But, my embarrassment only worsened when my Mom forced me to dance with my Cousin’s new Husband as part of the ‘Money Dance’. “Don’t let these fun times go to waste honey!” She enthusiastically said to my clear dismay.
“Promise you won’t cheat when I am gone?” My girlfriend smacked a deep smooch on my hairless, supple face.
‘I sure hope this peps up his day at the office’, I mused as I sent a nude snapchat to my Husband. My inner monologue fought back, ‘Was he even into this? Stop your doubts, you know he is.’