How the Story Goes

Ed—well Eddard now—and I didn’t have anyone to run a game for us, so we figured we would use one of those GM-less games to get our D&D fix in. He wanted to play his veteran of a grim war fighter character yet again, and I was just feeling the itch so I let a bunch of random rolls hand me a beautiful, young sorceress-queen to play.

Well, one of the props that Ed must have been more than a piece of flea market junk. As soon as the dice hit the table, we got pulled through some sort of vortex. Ed got stubbly and buff, become Eddard. And I got busty, soft, and very female as Lorina.

It wasn’t so bad adventuring, actually seeing all the fantasy pastiche stuff, and hurling fire from my finger tips was pretty awesome. As was all the fantasy booze. Dwarven nog, elven mirror wine, halfling ales, and all the rest. Except Eddard kept cutting me off because I’d get flirty he said. Which was absurd. And I told him so, complete with threats of using my magic to get my way.

So after a good haul, we bought some excellent gnomish liquor that was sort of like tequila and did shots of it between full tankards of ale. I started messing with Eddard, telling him about how buff he was and how I snuck a peak at his sword. Well at first he was just clamming up, but then he decided to give back and soon we were egging one another on. I was going to declare victory after he took the first real move and kissed me. Except, he knew how to do it. Real well.

Soon enough I was riding him and even though he seemed a bit regretful, I can tell he’s loving it. And next time it won’t take booze to get us fucking—which means our camp outs on adventures are going to be much more fun.


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