Rudy ran his fingers over his fishnet stockings, sweating in his red dress (right between his boobs) from the heat, and he marveled at the ironies of his life.

First he had run a small bakery business, then that closed when he refused to pay the mob’s “protection fees.” Then he’d gotten intimate with a girl who said she was a lesbian and therefore not interested in dating guys like him. He’d called his best friend Tate but could only leave a message because Tate was too busy getting a blowjob from his PA. Despairing and lonely, Rudy went to Chinatown in search of a nice quick meal and ended up helping an old lady carry her groceries because, well, she was old and should be treated with respect. That’s how Rudy was taught. Family values ran deep in his bones.

“This is a gift for your kindness, young man.” The grandma winked and handed him a little round stone with inscriptions on it. “Use it carefully, and I hope you find happiness in your own way. Careful wording for the two wishes you will get.”

Rudy got a little drunk on his way back home, and he pulled out the stone. “I wish I could get on top of the mob. That’s all.” His wish was granted.

Now as Raynie she got on top of the mob all the time, and in a break between clients she mused about all the random ironic occurrences in her life. “Well, I’ve got a nice pair of legs. Let’s kick these silly heels off and make use of them, shall we? And then when that arrogant mob boss comes here for some pussy, I’ll make sure he gets all the pussy he can stand for the rest of his life. He won’t know what hit him.”


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