Mom and I have not talked much the last year, for good reason- I had transitioned to living as a woman, but couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Luckily she was not on social media. I texted her a lot, so that she felt like I was still around. And occasionally we had a phone call.
I figured when my birthday rolled around in October that Mom would want a phone call. She texted me that morning “Can I call”
“Sure thing mom”
But when I looked at my phone I noticed she was doing a video call….SHIT. I grabbed a makeup brush nearby and came up with my flimsy excuse.
“Hey mom, just trying out some makeup for my halloween costume. What do you think? Do I look like a woman? This is all just makeup! Crazy Huh?” I tried to talk in my deepest voice possible.
But shit. My B cup breasts were very clearly bouncing. Would she buy that it was all makeup?
“Stephanie,” she said…I gasped, how did she know my new name?
“no need to lie to your mother. Your best friend Ryan was back in town, or should I say…boyfriend? He was simply raving about his beautiful new girlfriend and he let it slip. Why did you hide it from me?”
“I …uh…i dont know mom. I’m sorry” I said starting to tear up.
“Well you are my beautiful daughter. No wonder Ryan is so in love with you. You know, once I found out, he told me he would like to marry you. You wouldn’t deprive a mother the chance of being the mother of the bride now would you?”
I blushed. I did not know what to say.
“Now, lets plan a trip for us to get together. We have a lot of catching up to do. First, that bra hardly fits you correctly. Second, you are hardly dressed like the lady I would expect my daughter to be. Third, if you have a boyfriend, we really need to have THE TALK. And most importantly I need to pass on the wisdom I have from my marriage with your late father, about how to be a proper housewife and how to pleasure your man.”
I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. “Uh Ok Mom.”
“What? Were both ladies here! I’ll be down there this weekend. To properly celebrate my daughters birthday. Goodbye.”
And with that she hung up.
Well…this sure changes things.
I can’t believe that she didn’t buy the “this is all just makeup for a costume” excuse…