Two Birds

Subject 2, Trial 1:

After my experience with Poppy, I decided that I wanted to change someone who deserved a new start. Once again, facebook did the searching for me.

When browsing through my newsfeed one day, I came across a post from a cousin of mine who wrote, “I hate lesbians.” The post had over 50 dislikes on it and the comments were vicious to cousin Sam. They called him a bigot, an ass, a redneck and a whole lot of other things.

Sam was a junior in high school and, when he was younger, I was a kind of mentor to him. He was definitely a slightly…strange kid. He loved old-fashioned kind of stuff. Old-fashioned clothes, old-fashioned cars, and even old-fashioned movies. His favorite were Westerns like High Noon where the rugged, cowboy sheriff would stand-up to outlaws all on his own. In fact, since 5th grade, Sam had taken to wearing a cowboy hat at all times. It was his signature, but not one that exactly fit in, in his home state of Connecticut.

I’m sure the cowboy hat certainly added to the redneck stereotype when people saw his facebook post. But, I had always thought that Sam was into the cowboy stuff less for the conservative values and more because he liked justice and fairness. The Sam I knew was strange, but kind and had a good heart.

So, over a long weekend, I went up to visit Sam. His mom, Tabitha, greeted me at their front door. She was ecstatic that someone else was coming in on back-up. Apparently Sam had been bullied at school for his post (even though he’d later deleted it and apologized) and had come home crying from school. That was three days ago and since then he’d be holed up in his room.

Knock, knock.

“Sam, Sam it’s me Tom. Can you let me in bud?”

“Tom?! Ahh shucks, Tom! Did mom call you all the way up here over this?”

“No Sam, I just came up out of the blue. I wanted to see you. I think I can help.”

My plan was to find out what caused Sam to say something like that, give him a lecture on being more tolerant, and then change his look a bit so that people at school wouldn’t bother him.

Creaaaak. Sam opened the door and immediately retreated into bed. I was chocked, Sam’s signature cowboy hat lay torn in the corner of his room.

“Oh my god, Sam, what happened to Nathaniel?” (the name he gave to his hat back in the day)

*Sob* “Kids at school to a pair of scissors to him. Said apologies weren’t enough for cyberbullying.”

“That’s outrageous Sam! We’ve gotta tell the school or something.”

“Nah, Tom. I don’t want to make an even bigger deal out of this.”

“Ok Sam, ok. But…why did you post that you hate lesbians? I mean is that true. Do you really have a problem with gay marriage?”

“Nooooo Tom. No. Heck, me and mom went to the gay pride parade last year when we visited New York! I didn’t mean I hate all lesbians! I just…I was sad.”


Sam took a deep sigh and then continued.

“You know Lexi who lives two blocks down?”

“Oh yeah! The red head you’d liked since like 4th grade!”

“Yeah, well…I never could really find the nerve to talk to Lexi for a long time. She was always too pretty to go up to. I mean we used to be friends in elementary school and she’d still talk to me in class or during passing period but I was always…awkward, you know?”

“Yeah Sam, I know. You’d always stammer or just say something dumb, right?”

“Yeah, exactly! But even when I’d do that, Lexi’d still smile at me and wish me a good day.”

“So, I still don’t see a problem.”

“Well, about 3 weeks ago, I asked Lexi to meet me after school. I was finally going to ask her out. I bought roses, and some chocolates. I even got her a stuffed panda because she said her favorite animal was a panda.”

“But she didn’t show up?”

“No, no. Lexi’s better than that. She showed up. It’s just that, after I confessed…well Lexi said she…she only liked girls.”

“Ohhhhh. Gotcha….”

“Yeah she was really apologetic and all, but I was…I don’t know I started crying. So I just ran home and I was embarrassed and upset and then I made that stupid post! I took a nap to calm down and when I woke, I realized how dumb I was. I took the post down immediately, but too many people had seen it already.”

Huh. So Sam loved Lexi who was a lesbian. Annnndd, Sam had a lot of haters who thought he was a bigot…suddenly I saw a way to kill two birds with one stone.

“Sam text Lexi to meet you at the school in an hour. Beg her to come and say you want to apologize in person. Lexi sounds like she’d be someone willing to give you another chance.”

“Ok…but then what, Tom?”

“You leave that to me,” I said, trying to hide my grin.

When we got to the school, we saw Lexi waiting against the wall of the cafeteria. Sam was about to go talk to her, but I stopped him.

“Ok Sam, so more than anything in the world you want to be with Lexi, no matter what?”

“Yeah Tom, I’ve loved her since we were kids!”

“Ok close your eyes.”

When he did, I imagined Tom is he had been born not only a girl, but a lesbian. And just to be safe, I imagined if he’d born sexy too, alluring to girls and guys alike, but still in his own way. The result was great!

Sam, now short for Samantha, has long, messy brown hair. And she was more of a cowgirl than a cowboy. The meant she lost the signature hat, but gained the signature denim shorts that barely covered her plump rear. She had legs for days that were crisply tanned in the sunlight. She shrank quite bit- 7 inches or so, but gained some height back with the cute leather boots that she wore. And of course, she had quite the flat stomach, and clearly loved to show off her midriff. She wore a tight, white blouse that just barely was able to contain her ample bosom.

Sam looked at me in shock. She groped her breasts and then felt down her legs. She pushed some hair out of her face as she felt her smooth cheeks. “What…Tom how did you…oooohhh it doesn’t matter. I need to see Lexi NOW!” Sam said in her new, high-pitched voice. Her body might have looked perfectly cowgirl but her voice was just pure innocent girl–a girl no one could ever stay mad at.

She marched straight up to Lexi who was still just leaning against the wall. When Lexi saw Sam walking toward her, with her hips swaying in those tight denim shorts, she smiled and licked her lips. Sam came up to her, and immediately sent her arm up Lexi’s skirt, feeling the back of her leg and then groping her round butt. The two kissed. Then they began to feel each other up right there, cooing and moaning all the way. I guess reality had shifted to make Sam, Lexi’s girlfriend.

“Awww Lexi, I love you.”

“MMMMmmm Sam, I love you too. Let’s get out of here and go to my place.”


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