Ryan didn’t know why he put that necklace on. It wasn’t his usual style. He just found it, a chain with a skull pendant on it, lying on the sidewalk, and he decided to try it on.
Ryan was a 23-year-old recent college graduate working at an entry-level position at a financial firm in town. It was a challenging job that didn’t pay great, but Ryan had been a dedicated student and was now a dedicated employee with ambition and was sure to rise in the company. He knew it, his employers knew it, and his co-workers (though often jealous of him) knew it too.
Until he put on that necklace. He was walking to work and saw a glimmer on the sidewalk. He knelt down to find this sort of ugly necklace. Or, not exactly ugly, but it wasn’t really his style. It looked like something someone wearing all black clothes and black nail polish might wear. But, inexplicably, he put it on and then continued his walk to work.
As he continued down the sidewalk, a woman rushed past him glancing at her watch. “I can’t be late today,” she said, clearly upset. “Gosh, I wish I was at work already.”
As soon as he heard her wish, Ryan found himself suddenly standing in his office, not walking on the sidewalk. “What the hell?” he said.
Ted, one of Ryan’s coworkers who pretended to be his friend but was more than a little jealous of Ryan’s success at the company, noticed Ryan just pop into the room from nowhere. “Where the hell did you come from, bro?”
“I have no idea what just happened,” Ryan said. “One minute I was walking down the sidewalk and the next I was here.”
“That was crazy,” Ted replied. “You just showed up here out of thin air.”
They were both confused by what had just happened, but lacking an explanation or any other sudden appearances, they both cautiously got down to their work.
Ryan worked in a big room of cubicles with Ted, a handsome former frat bro, Susan, a slightly chubby but otherwise attractive brunette with a bubbly personality, and Megan, a blonde who looked like she belonged on the cover of a magazine but who had the personality of a tomboy and hated wearing the dresses and skirts that were her all but required business attire. They were all about the same age and had entered the company about the same time, but it was clear to all of them that Ryan was on the fast track to promotion. The others liked him well enough, but they were jealous of his inevitable success. There were other people in the room, but Ryan, Ted, Susan, and Megan worked near each other and collaborated when possible.
Shortly after Ryan and Ted returned to work, Susan and Megan arrived, and they all sat in their cubicles to work. Megan always felt like there was something wrong with her that she didn’t feel comfortable in typical girly clothes. Usually, she tried to keep it to herself, but today she just felt so uncomfortable.
“I just wish I could be comfortable in women’s clothes and high heels,” Megan muttered under her breath but loud enough for Ryan to hear her though he didn’t pay her much attention while he was working. He didn’t notice the slight glow from the skull pendant’s eyes after she said that. Nothing seemed to happen to him, either.
But a few minutes later, he stood up and walked over to the coffee pot. As he walked, however, he noticed something strange about the way he was walking: he kept walking on his tiptoes. And every time he tried to put his heels on the ground it just felt unnatural. Walking on his tiptoes felt normal. After his sudden teleportation earlier and now this odd thing that was going on with his feet, Ryan was beginning to get concerned, but he went back to his desk and got back to work.
Megan was adjusting her dress when Ryan sat back down.
“What’s wrong?” Susan asked her.
“Oh, I just wish my dress fit me better, that’s all,” Megan replied. As she said that, Ryan’s clothes changed into a well-fitting dress that, despite how well it fit, still looked ridiculous on his masculine frame.
Before anyone noticed his changes, however, Susan said, “Are you kidding? You look great. I just wish I had a figure like yours to fill out a dress like that.”
Suddenly Ryan’s dress didn’t look so ridiculous on his body. Now, instead, his build was exactly like Megan’s, and he was wearing a dress that looked just like hers also. And, bizarrely, it felt really comfortable.
Ryan shot up from his desk when his clothes and body changed. He was still a man and resembled himself in most respects, but he had Megan’s curves and dress. Ted, Megan, and Susan all stared at him.
“Bro, what the fuck?” Ted said. “What in the actual fuck happened to you?”
Startled and scared, Ryan said, “I … I … I have no idea.”
“Wait a minute,” Susan said, “Your clothes look just like Megan’s.”
“Oh my gosh,” Megan said, “You’re right. And your shape looks like me too. What are you doing, you pervert?”
“I didn’t do this. I don’t want breasts, and I don’t want to wear a dress,” Ryan said.
“No, wait,” Susan said. “Remember what we were just talking about. You wished your dress fit better and I wished I had your figure. It seems more than a coincidence that Ryan got a dress and figure just like yours immediately after we wished for those things.”
“So let me get this straight,” Ryan said. “Are you suggesting that whatever you wish for goes to me instead?”
“Exactly,” Susan said, “but there’s only one way to know for sure.” Before Ryan could react, Susan said, “I wish I had perfectly groomed long brown hair with red highlights that would never get messed up and would always look like I just had it styled.”
“Wow,” Ted said, “that was oddly specific.”
“Well, I wanted to wish for something I’d actually want in case I was the one who got the wish,” she said.
They all watched in astonishment as Ryan’s hair cascaded down his shoulders and back and lighted from his usual dark brown to a lighter brown with red highlights. It was styled perfectly with just the right amount of wave and curl to it. Ryan’s hair looked like something out of a salon commercial.
“Wow,” Megan said. “Let me try something.” She walked up to Ryan and tousled his hair vigorously. “Ow,” Ryan said. But when she was done, Ryan’s hair still looked perfect. It could not be messed up.
“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Ryan said. He now had the breasts and curves of Megan as well as her dress and the hair of a hair model. “I wish you’d stop making wishes about me.”
“Well I wish you wanted us to make wishes about you,” Megan said.
Ryan didn’t feel any different. “That wish didn’t work, and apparently mine didn’t either. What happened? I still don’t want you to make wishes about me.”
Megan looked embarrassed. “Um, I want you all to make wishes about me,” she said.
“Weird,” Ted said. “So the pronouns get switched when we wish. “I” means Ryan and “you” means the wisher. That’s crazy. I’m never going to get that straight.”
“And apparently Ryan can’t make wishes himself,” Susan said. “I just wish we all knew what was causing this.”
Suddenly, they all did know: it was the pendant Ryan was wearing. It was called the Envy Skull and granted wishes as though the wearer of the skull were envious of the wish.
Ted began to realize that this was his chance to stop being jealous of Ryan, but he had to be careful. He stood close to Ryan and whispered, “I wish Megan and Susan wanted to help you take me down a peg by making me our slutty secretary. I wish I wouldn’t try to get away while Megan, Susan, and Ted make their wishes. And I wish Megan and Susan would forget you just whispered these wishes to me.”
He decided to test it out. “Hey guys, this is our chance to bring Ryan down a bit. He’s always impressing the bosses while we get overlooked. Now we can change that.”
“Great idea,” Susan said. “What should we do with him?”
“I know what I’d like,” Megan said. “I’d like a secretary. Maybe we could make him into our own secretary for the three of us.”
“Perfect,” Ted said. “Where should we start?”
“Well, first, he looks ridiculous,” Susan said. “Half man, half woman. It’s time we picked a side for him. I wish I was a beautiful woman with tan skin and freckles, shapely legs, tiny feet, and a gorgeous face with a permanent smile on it.”
Ryan felt his whole body change. He kept the curves he had gotten from Megan, but his skin darkened, his legs and arms changed, his hands and feet shrank. He even felt his face changing, and soon he couldn’t stop smiling even though he was terrified by what was happening.
“Stop it, guys,” Ryan said. “I don’t want to be a woman.”
“If you really wanted us to stop, why haven’t you left already?” Ted asked. “And that smile tells me you really like it.” Ted paused, frowning. “But this won’t do at all. I’ve never seen such an attractive woman with so much body hair. I wish I had no body hair and had perfectly smooth skin.” With that, all of the hair on Ryan’s arms, legs, and chest (and elsewhere) just vanished leaving smooth, perfect skin with a smattering of freckles behind.
“I wish I dressed in really girls clothes all the time,” Megan said, “clothes that show off my beautiful body. I wish I wore really high heels to work everyday. I wish I kept my face perfectly made up and always kept my nails perfectly manicured.”
The dress Ryan had been wearing, a copy of Megan’s rather conservative dress, morphed into one that showed off much more cleavage and that cut off at his upper thigh, showing off his incredible legs. His face suddenly had makeup on it. His fingernails were now perfectly manicured and painted. He looked down, past his cleavage, to his feet which were now encased in open-toed four-inch heels that showed off the painted toes on his diminutive feet. What Megan didn’t know, however, was that Ryan found his new attire really comfortable and actually found the heels more comfortable than his men’s dress shoes had been because of her earlier wish.
Even though he was comfortable, however, Ryan still stumbled around, unused to moving in this body or walking in heels.
“I wish I moved with complete feminine grace,” Susan said. “I wish that I could walk perfectly in heels, had the balance of a dancer, the flexibility of a gymnast, and every movement of my body was perfectly sensual.”
Ryan no longer stumbled on his high heels but instead looked like the very image of grace as his walked around. And no matter what he did, he looked beautiful and feminine. He tried to look more masculine, but he would end up with his hands held daintily at his side and his chest thrust out or he would have a seductive look on his face. His every movement was pure feminine beauty.
“This is unbelievable,” Ryan muttered, his voice still masculine and sounding hilarious coming from this female body.
“Oh, no, we can’t have that,” Ted said. “I wish my voice was comically high pitched and yet sensual. I wish that no matter what I try to say, it will always come out sexy and alluring with a hint of bimbo. I also wish that my mannerisms would always be sexual, that for instance when I’m talking to someone I might start rubbing my chest or I might pull hum the side of my skirt slightly. And I wish the more embarrassed or frustrated I get, the more overtly sexual my speech and actions will become.”
Eyes wide, but still smiling, Ryan said, “Like, what I are you thinking?” His hands shot to his mouth in shock at the sound of his voice. The girls started laughing at him. Regaining his composure a bit, he said, “I can’t work my job like this while I’m constantly talking, like, sexy and stuff. No one can take me seriously.” He looked down to notice his left hand rubbing his right breast, and he couldn’t control it. His face brightened in embarrassment, but that just made things worse. His right hand started pulling up the edge of his dress while he bent down to give everyone a good look at his cleavage. If he didn’t stop soon, he’d be giving a full striptease.
“Oh my gosh,” Megan said, “This is so hot and adorable.”
“But we still have a few changes to make,” Susan reminded them. “I wish I was a secretary for Susan, Megan, and Ted and that even though it’s weird for associates to have secretaries here at the company, our bosses allowed it in this case. I wish I was a very good secretary, and I wish I loved to flirt with anyone, especially our clients, and our clients love it when I flirt with them.”
“I wish that anytime I tried to talk about finance except in my duties as a secretary, I would instead talk about something ridiculous and childish in my most bimboish manner,” Ted said. “There, now tell us about what you were working on this morning, Ryan.”
“OMG,” Ryan said, “I like love ponies and rainbows. They are like sooo cute.” Ryan shot his hand to his mouth again. “That’s not what I meant to say,” he said. “I mean, I really want a pet penguin. Why can’t I have a pet penguin?”
While Ryan stood there, stunned, Ted said, “I wish I would come to work here everyday as an excellent secretary, and I would always do whatever you, Susan, or Megan tell me.”
“There’s your desk, get to work.”