Surfing through the annuls of the internet you find some pretty weird stuff. Somehow, surfing at 3am seems to make the weirder stuff more visible.
One late night/early morning my insomnia and searching for boredom cures brought me upon a weird application. Clicking on a link, I was asked if I would like to download “MasterPC.exe”. After doing a little bit a research and running the program through several filters to check for viruses, I was curious. My research said that Master PC allowed you to be “The Master of Your Universe.” I assumed that meant it would allow me to create a world, like SimCity, but what did I have to lose? It’s like, literally 4:30am and I have to be at work at 10, so sleep would almost be counterproductive at this point(is a thing I tell myself way too often).
So I open the program, and the interface welcomes me and asks for a subject. I type in a fake name, and it tells me to try again. I type in Michael Carter McLean, and a full 3D render of MY BODY pops up! WHAT?! Ok, now I’m interested. Looking at the menus, it quickly becomes apparent that this is an incredibly detailed create-a-character screen. I find the hair screen, long a point of contention for me since the hair on my head decided to secede from my scalp. Seeing all of the options, I spent time fine tuning long hair, deciding on shoulder length red locks that was admittedly stupid looking on my body, but fuck it, it’s not like it’s real, right?
As I hit enter, I felt a tingling on my scalp as dark red, extremely effeminate hair cascaded down, stopping at my shoulders. Running to the bathroom mirror, I confirm what I see: A woman’s haircut on a guy’s body, but it’s real. Like, real hair on my real head…I’m not going to work tomorrow…
Running back to my computer, there are so many ideas in my head. I have a literal reality shaping device ON MY COMPUTER. What would you do? Well, I decided to make myself fit the hair. Sue me.
Looking at the hair, it had young written all over it, so I decided to make myself into a young woman. Searching through the menus I typed in the following info:
Name: Melissa Paige McLean
Because of all the menus, by the time I was done fine-tuning my new me, the sun had begun to peek through my window and exhaustion was starting to take hold. Even so, I sat back, looked at my screen and pressed save. The changes were not instantaneous, but the were fast. Within 30 seconds, I was as described, complete with a black tanktop, jeans, and a black bow in my hair. I stood up, taking in how much bigger my room felt and checking out my new body. Focusing as hard I could, I did everything I could to say ‘My name is Michael’.
“My name is Melissa” was all that came out. Finding the command bar, I typed in ‘Michael McLean does not need to go to his job today and will not lose his job for it’ and hit enter. Within seconds I received a text from my boss saying I could have the day off, and I was off to the races. Makeup knowledge, clean bill of health, and a full wardrobe later, and I was ready to spend just the one day as Melissa, a new fantasy I got to live.
That was 4 months ago. I now receive a stipend from my work equaling about $75,000 a year, and I do literally nothing to earn it. I live in a nice condo in a good part of town, and I date a beautiful girl I met at a bar. My days are easy, my nights are fun, and I haven’t had troubling sleeping once since I found that program.
My name is Melissa Paige McLean, and I did what most don’t with the Master PC: I got a happy ending.