“Oh come on, darkmaster666, you’re, like, totally cheating!”
“It’s called SKILL, bustylusty21.”
“Oh, yeah right! You- wait, what? My gamer tag is ‘bulletballer21’ you dumbass!”
“Now what did I say about name calling, Jimmy? *snaps fingers*”
“Whoa! I feel weird… Anyway, my name is JAIMIE, weirdo!”
“Oh, well I was close enough… ‘Jaimie’. *snaps fingers*”
“Oh! My boobs just popped out! Wait… were they always this big?”
“Hurry up and make the Master cum, Tom! If you don’t make him cum soon he’ll make my tits tits even bigger than yours and make ME titty-fuck him!”
“Oh, I know, daddy, I’m trying!”
“Really?… ‘Daddy?’ You haven’t called me that since you were a little boy…”
“I was a little BOY? But… I’m a girl, mommy…”
“God, what is going on?! These people are all acting hypnotized or something. I’M acting hypnotized! I keep posing for these damn photographers who are all just acting like this is all normal. I’m a fat, 42-year-old contractor with a wife and three kids! Or… I WAS until that creepy, black suited bastard just walked right into my house while me and my family were eating dinner. He just smiled at me and snapped his fingers and I’ve been like this ever since. Oh God… what did that sick fuck do with my family? If I ever see that monster again, I will fuck him up! …Yeah, I’ll fuck him real good…”
“Dammit, what the hell did you do to me you sick fuck?! Look man… I said I was sorry that I slapped you girl’s ass, alright! I’m a DICK, okay? Now can I have my dick back?”
“No, no, Mr. Fogg… but will you settle for borrowing mine?”
“What?! What they hell are you talkin’ about, you homo son of a-“
*Dark Master snaps his fingers* “Ooooh! Don’t make me wait anymore you sexy son of a bitch! Ram this juicy booty with your big cock!”
He had collected a cop from each of the five closest cities. He had transformed the male cops, adding them to his harem. He appointed the buxom, naked ladies as guards for his compound, not that he really needed guards. The Master simply liked to show off his work.
“Okay, Clark, that pink kryptonite did a number on you, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still be a hero! Now you’ve got to go stop Metallo, pick up some ice cream get back in time for The Bachelor.”
“Alright, you sexy bastard, you gonna turn me back into a badass biker and turn me straight again?”
“Now why would I do that, Bloodbath?”
“What?! But… but I let everyone in my biker gang gangbang me while you watched! Doesn’t that make up for trying to pick a fight with you?!”
“Yeah, maybe… but I think you’d make an excellent addition to this strip club, Funbags.”
“No… please…”
*snaps fingers*
“AND COMING TO THE STAGE… FUNBAGS!”
“Well, looks like you’re up. Oh, and make it good. I can sense that after that gangbang, you’re gonna have a little biker mouth to feed! Good luck figuring out who the father is…”
“So… Kylie… it’s extremely brave of you to ‘come out’ this way. I believe answering our viewers’ questions here on live TV is the breast, er-, BEST way to go about clearing up any misconceptions the public may have about you.”
“…Yeah, whatever.”
“Yes, well we best get started… Um… so say you’re an ‘M cup’?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Wow! That’s quite a drastic decision!”
“Yes, Karen, and they look so… natural!”
“Now, now Tom…”
“I’m just saying magic can sure do wonders! So, um, Kylie… who was it that performed your procedure?”
“Um… I’d rather not say right now.”
“Ah yes, I understand. Who ever they are, they are quite talented! Heh-heh, I’m sure patients are beating down their door.”
“I believe my drooling co-host is trying to say that you look amazing, Kylie. Don’t look so nervous though. You’ve been in front of many cameras before, just not as the ‘real you’. I’m sure it’s quite scary right now, but that will change. I admire you.”
“Um… thanks.”
“Yes, I admire you as well. I’m sure LOTS of fellas do. How’s the ol’ love life?”
“Oh, Tom!”
“Hey, our viewers just wanna know, Karen!”
“Well, yes, that IS a fair point… So, Kylie, how about it? Are you seeing anyone? I imagine that you’re no longer seeing Carlita Sanchez, considering the thinly veiled song she wrote about you after you were allegedly caught with another woman. Do you still prefer women… or…”
“Yo, that’s IT, I can’t take this no more! Look, everybody I’m Kyle Styles… or… I WAS… *sniff, sob* … I was Kyle Styles until… *sniff*”
“Oh, Kylie sweetheart, don’t cry.”
“Yeah, is it that time of the month already?”
“Oh, Tom!”
“Yo, I… *sniff* …I was Kyle Styles… until HE did this to me! He’s out there y’all! He could be anywhere! He can do anything to anyone! I used to be a skinny little white boy, and now I got these big fat titties, a big ass, and a… a PUSSY! He told me I had to tell the world that he’s just getting started!”
“Who?”
“The Master! He’s-“
—(Technical difficulties)—
“Come on, Master! These are too big! They’re monsters! I feel so… so… WOMANLY! Look, I’m sorry that I called my son a queer because he couldn’t get a date to the prom, but I don’t wanna find out that he’s straight like THIS! Oh, I know I’m his father, but I’m gettin’ so horny for him! Look, if I go with him to prom and… ‘fool around’ with him, you’ll change me back, right?… Right?…”
“Ugh! Ah, gross, dude! You. like, totally jizzed all over me! Okay, look, dude, you fucked me, you came, and I said I was sorry for beating up those dweebs at my school. Now will you change me back?”
“Oh, no Lance… we’re just getting started. Oh, and don’t worry about having to get back to class, Nance. You were kicked out of school for being too slutty, remember?”
“Oh, yeah… right. Well, it’s not my fault all the boys wanted me and the big titties!”