Tag Archives: moneydance

The Butt of Every Bridesmaid Joke

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I regret every second swallowing one of my brother’s (he takes them to keep his testicular cancer at bay) Gender Change pills as a joke. One month as a young woman, and currently the butt of every joke my my drunk Uncles pull at my cousin’s wedding: “I never knew you swang that way”; “He must have got this from your side of the family”; “How is our little Princess doing today”. Worse, one of my cousin’s friends got sick at the last moment. Being her closest family member not participating in the wedding, my cousin and the rest of my family pressured me into being a Bridesmaid! First time for everything they say: first time attending a bridal shower, first time wearing a dress and first time having a period, score. Could my day get any worse? Yes, that night. Perhaps my self loathing reached a pinnacle when the tossed wedding bouquet fell into my arms as I didn’t pay attention. But, my embarrassment only worsened when my Mom forced me to dance with my Cousin’s new Husband as part of the ‘Money Dance’. “Don’t let these fun times go to waste honey!” She enthusiastically said to my clear dismay.